To those of you who have not quite felt like yourself recently:
Lately, I have had many people reach out to me about the emotional and mental pain in their life. If you are anything like me then mental pain can often turn into physical pain. When going through any hardship you can have headaches from hours that often lead to weeks of crying, the anxiety attacks that cause body aches the next morning or the endless tired feeling because you have not slept more than a few hours or because you have overslept. While these are just a few ways that mental pain turns physical, it is real. Have you ever gone through true heart break and had that aching pain in your chest? Well, that’s a physical pain brought on by an emotional or mental pain.
The important thing to remember is you are not alone and there are people who want to help. If I had a nickel for every person I have met that could tell me they have had a traumatic event happen to them in the last year… well let’s just say I would be living on a yacht somewhere in FIJI. Trust me when I say I get it and I have been there. Last year alone I had four significant people in my life pass away, while that requires a whole other blog post, that pain could have been detrimental if I had not reached out to family, other support systems and even professionals. A lot of people are super worrisome about reaching out to a professional because we either feel like they don’t get it, or we don’t have the time in our schedules but one thing we do have time for is self-care and the best way to do that is by talking to someone who is on the outside of your specific situation and is not necessarily going to tell you what you want to hear. Since we are currently living in a pandemic, there is a huge surge in mental health services offered over the phone or video chat and I personally recommend utilizing them because they have helped me tremendously.
Telling someone, “it gets better” is not a terrible thing to say but for that person in that moment they probably do not feel like it will get better. Saying “get over it”, “it’s not a big deal” or even “I’ve been through worse” is not helpful. Sometimes we don’t know what to say and that is perfectly okay. One thing I have learned is there isn’t one perfect thing to say rather saying anything that is loving is the PERFECT thing to say. Another thing that works is just being there for your friend, parent, sister or whoever it is that is hurting can sometimes be all that person needs. Instead say, “I love you”, “I understand”, “I’m here for you if need anything” or even just sit on the phone with them in silence. These small changes in your conversation when someone calls you crying in that tone you have never heard them cry in before can make the biggest difference. When someone is going through a tough time (regardless of break up, death, financial obstacles, etc.) they are likely to act different and while that is okay you should encourage them to seek help (whatever that help means for them because we are all on different paths) so they can get back to living their best life and loving life. Remember the smallest things we do for each other can make the most difference for someone who isn’t at their best.
Stay Golden IG @lexiekristinlee